Word Salad
by FluffleNeCharka
Summary: A collection of lots of RxC stuff, from themed oneshots to mini-fics. Currently up: the musical ficlet meme from LJ.


**Author's Notes:** The 10 song meme is addictive and a great way to stall for time while waiting for tiredness to kick in so I can actually sleep. And I noticed nobody had one this meme for this fandom. Weird.

Anyway, this contains copious amounts of Ratchet/Clank and is my desperate attempt to make up to Lombnut for taking so long every time he requests anything from me. I feel bad because he's the kindest, most understanding human being I've ever met and I can't seem to manage to write any fics for him. One of these days TV Tropes is going to make me the patron saint of Schedule Slippage.

General warnings include swearing and Ratchet/Clank, but nothing too dark so far… depending on your definition of dark. I've been told my definition of dark is skewed at this point. Reading too much Alan Moore will do that to you.

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**The 10 Song Writing Meme:**

**Step One:** Open your word processor of choice and set it up on whatever font you'll be using.

**Step Two:** Set your MP3 player/iPod/musical device on choice onto Shuffle.

**Step Three:** You have exactly the length of the song to write a drabble/mini fic. You are not allowed to add anything after the song ends, you have to move onto the next one. No skipping songs! Whatever you get you have to do.

**Step Four:** As a corollary to the above, you may spell check it before adding the meme's steps to the Author's Notes. Unlike DeviantArt memes, no tagging of anyone is required nor do you have to be tagged to have a go at it. But if you want to do the meme, feel free to do so.

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**1. Risky Business by The Cab**

"Clank, talk to me."

"No! I was intoxicated last night, and anything I said was a mistake-"

Ratchet shot him an exasperated look over the vid screen. "Oh, bullshit. I know you too well for this. Look, if you won't talk to me like this I'm coming over so we can talk about this like adults."

"I… I didn't mean it," Clank protested weakly.

"Look me in the eyes and say that."

"…"

"Yeah, that's what I thought. I'll be there in ten minutes. We need to talk. A lot. About you, me, and… last night. I don't care how much synthehol was involved. You don't just do a rousing romantic speech on a whim. And it's a little late to back out now since _everybody knows_, Clank." Ratchet's voice was a mixture of annoyance and… reassurance? Compassion? Something like that. "And you know what? The only one who seems to have a problem with it is you."

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**2. Make Me Wanna Die by The Pretty Reckless**

Clank had never been big on the concept of religion.

But he was pretty sure that Ratchet was some kind of doom magnet. If it could go wrong, it always would when he was nearby. An unnatural amount of explosions seemed to occur in the Lombax's immediate vicinity. He was without a doubt one of the most daring people Clank knew, able to hold up under pressure, and perhaps as a result of that he kept getting himself into high pressure situations with increasing frequency.

And Clank hears what people are saying, that he has money after the Secret Agent Clank movie, that he doesn't have to accompany Ratchet everywhere. Those people don't understand. Ratchet is addictive. He's vivid, loud, opinionated, dangerous, _real_, the only real thing Clank's ever known. He couldn't give him up if his life depended on it.

"We are doomed," he mutters, and gets into the co-pilot seat beside Ratchet.

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**3. Another Way To Die by Alicia Keys**

Clank is trying very hard not to stare openly at Ratchet. But Ratchet's in a tuxedo, and he can't stop swooning. The director for _Secret Agent Ratchet_ has formed his own opinions about why Clank got his 'friend' a spin off movie, but Jamuqa is a good Jukani woman who doesn't say anything to him on the matter.

What she can't help doing is giggle as Clank overreacts to anything. Ratchet's done things five times this dangerous in real life, but every time he does a dangerous stunt he instinctively reaches for something to grip, eyes locked on the armored form on set. Jamuqa's pretty sure she could set herself on fire and Clank wouldn't notice, and it's absolutely adorable. She thinks so, anyway. Several of Clank's past female co stars weren't pleased with the very obvious implications of Clank's behavior.

_Well, screw them,_ she thinks to herself as Ratchet does a backflip. _They're just jealous they can't look that good in that outfit.

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**4. The Greatest Show Unearthed by Creature Feature**

The apocalypse is happening.

This? This is Ratchet _not_ panicking. This is Ratchet running as fast as he can, even though his sides are killing him and he's running out of energy. Clank, where's Clank? There's skeletons and shadowy _things_ made of fog rushing by, blood everywhere, saturating the ground and he'll never get the smell out of his nose – and Clank, where the hell is Clank?

He shoves, attacks and kicks his way through the thickening crowd, which increasingly is made up of possessed, dull eyed people and creatures he doesn't recognize aliens. He hears cold, high pitched laughter behind him. As he runs, the temptation to look into the tents and booths is growing to fever pitch, but the slightest curiosity, the littlest peek and he'd go into one of them. The people that go in either don't come out or come out completely insane.

"Clank!" he screams, and when he hears a faint answer he doesn't even see the carnival or the demons, he just charges blindly onward.

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**5. San Sheng San Sheng Lu by Alan Li Fei**

He's not really Ratchet. He's not really Ratchet. He-

He pulls Clank close and shields him with his body, armor absorbing most of the blast. Up in the sky, the portal to the other universe – Clank's universe – wavers and closes, trapping the robot alone on the battlefield with someone who looks just like his best friend. And he tries to tell himself it's not really Ratchet, but the Lombax has happy tears in his eyes, scooping up Clank's small body and cradling him close.

"Wo ai ni," Ratchet murmurs, and he leans down as if he were going to say more before hesitating, pulling back. He knows, like Clank knows, that they aren't each other's other half, but it feels just like it, and it's a battle between the rational and emotional they weren't ready for. What do you say to a total stranger who's also your soulmate?

A grenade rocks the earth near them, and Ratchet springs into action, jumping from rock to rock, boulder to boulder, down and up, zigzagging until Clank is dizzy. When the blurs of motion and movement stop they are alone by a stream, and Ratchet sets him down gently.

The silence they stand in is a friendly one, as if they've rediscovered a long lost friend, and Ratchet smiles even as gunfire echoes in the distance.

"Clank," he half-whispers, and the next thing Clank knows Ratchet's on his knees and clutching the robot to him so hard it must be hurting the organic, and reciting like a prayer, "Wo ai ni, wo ai ni, Clank, Clank…

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**6. Hail Satan by Mindless Self Indulgence**

"Ratchet, this music is too loud!"

Clank wasn't even sure Ratchet knew he was there over the music, which consisted of rapping that was more akin to having a seizure into a microphone than lyrics and beats so loud Clank could feel them in his feet. He looked over at his friend and saw a starry eyed expression on his face as he happily jumped into the fray, banging his head enthusiastically.

"I hate mosh pits!" Clank yelled to no one in particular, as he was knocked over for the tenth time that evening.

Then Ratchet dashed back out of the pit to grab Clank by the hand, grinning maniacally. He yelled something about 'body surfing', and either didn't hear or pretended not to hear Clank ask what that meant as he tugged him towards the stage.

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**7. Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect by The Decemberists**

In Ratchet's dreams, everything manages to make absolutely no sense and make perfect sense.

In them he is content and Clank is by his side, much like in real life. The difference is that the stresses and worries of the world have melted away, and he bravely takes Clank's hands. In his dreams they've been together in a thousand lives; it all seems to real he sometimes has a hard time distinguishing what did or didn't happen. He doesn't say that to Clank, though.

He's not sure how Clank would take these dreams, this weird visions Ratchet has of other lives where he isn't so shy, so rough around the edges and yet desperate not to be rejected. In his mind there exists worlds where he's brave enough to face the normality of everyday life, his second biggest fear, and tell Clank what he feels, which is his second biggest fear.

Ratchet saw a poster once that said 'Consciousness – that annoying time between naps'.

He thinks he understands that.

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**8. Return To Innocence by Enigma**

Ratchet hates that he's so weak.

Facing down monsters, aliens, war – that's his life. His life's always been chaotic and painful. He expects for things to go wrong and that's what he can handle. What he can't handle is weakness, and that means being attached to anyone. Everyone else he loved left him.

Not Clank.

Never Clank.

He's so terrified to say a thing to him, ruin this, and he knows he'll never forgive himself if he doesn't say or do something soon. Ratchet tries to be strong, tries to make sure he's tough so that everything people say will bounce off of him, but Clank is his one exception. That's because Clank has never abandoned him. He's the only fixed point in a changing universe.

Ratchet inhales sharply. He grits his teeth. And then, not daring to look at Clank's face in case he gets rejected, he says it, because Clank makes him want to believe in things again, in the universe and in fate and in love.

"I love you."

No three words have ever been harder, or more worth it.

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**9. The Last Night by Skillet**

Ratchet is shaking.

That's when Clank knows something's wrong, because Ratchet is never scared, not like this. He's taking big gulps of air like a drowned man. He can't stop crying. This is not terror, this is pain and anguish and everything Ratchet's ever tried to keep from Clank. He's tried to keep it from himself, honestly, lying to himself and saying everything was okay, but eventually it all had to come boiling up to the surface.

"I'm sorry," Ratchet mutters with a touch of self loathing. "I didn't want you to see me like this. I'm not usually this dramatic. And when I was, no one was there to notice," he added quietly, looking at the ground.

"Ratchet… I do not know what is wrong, but I will not leave you like this." He reaches for the Lombax's hand.

It takes a moment before, hesitantly, Ratchet's fingers lock around Clank's.

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**10. Somewhere by Within Temptation**

Lost.

He's so lost. Something, something about a memory wipe, a robot with green eyes crying out for him. He remembered breaking free, running, and then it was all darkness and pain as he more or less fell through the forest's steep hills and inclines. Where… who… was he? He staggered forwardly blindly, looking with increasing desperation at his unfamiliar surroundings.

_Clank_. The robot had a name. He was… he was important. He had to be found. He was looking for him, he was so upset when they separated them, his glowing eyes flashing in the darkness. He was the only thing the Lombax remembered, the only thing they hadn't taken from him. He sniffed the air and caught a whiff of oil in it. Clank! That was what Clank smelled like! He remembered cool metal against his skin, the weight of a familiar form on his back, and a voice.

The same voice that was calling out to him right now, in the distance, his eyes the only night in the darkness.


End file.
